Telling Your Parents *For Younger Members*

My mom and dad believe that it is my money and i can spend it how i please so it wasn't a big issue about the money but when I told my parents i wanted a doll (DOC Petsha) they looked at the price and where kind of skeptical. However I told them all the customizable parts, how much i could do with her, all the pictures I hoped to take, etc. My dad was thrilled and is awiting her arrival but my mom is still indiffrent. but they where both glad that i was out there getting a job to earn money for Petsha

 

Well, Im in college and I manage my own money, so I never ran into this issue.

Still, I reassure my parents (who still get copies of my credit card statements) that the exorbitant amounts of money spent on my dolls are still within my budget, with expenses reallocated from my clothing, parking, and gasoline budgets (I buy less stuff for myself and drive less to save money. I also live in Austin where parking costs a fortune, so I take the bus more.)

I guess my advice is this; parents love to see responsibility. I think you'll get better results buy saying "I would rather hold off on that new pair of jeans. My dolls make me happier than the jeans do, and I know I can't afford both."

Just don't start buying less food so that you can afford your doll habit. I'm definitely guilty of that D: *munches 90 cent granola bar*

 

I totally understand what you mean. (: I had been looking at dolls for a while until finally I showed my mom a few and I was like "So, can I buy him/her?". My mom was like "Sure? How much are they?"

When I told her, she wasn't so happy. But she did a poll on facebook (lol) saying "Should my daughter buy a $300 doll?" and (mostly) everyone who commented said yes. It's my money and I should spend it now, when I'm ABLE to spend it on things like this. When I'm older and paying for bills and such, I won't have this freedom.

She doesn't really like my doll, because she says he's gay and looks like a girl- but she's all right with it. xD My dad is just like "..Those dolls are creepy D:". I don't think mom told him how much he was. xD

Either way, I'm sure you'll be fine!

 

Recently I asked my mum if she'd rather me spend all my money on alcohol and drugs like all the other kids my age... dunno if it worked though. She doesn't really expect me to act like that anyway

 

Well, I am no longer a teenager and my parents do not need to approve of my spending at this point in my life, but when I told them a month or so ago that I want to get at least one doll (at some point in the future; I still need to save up the money and get my room in order) they did give me odd looks, especially when they learned about the price.

After seeing pictures of various dolls my mom said she could understand why I wanted one. My dad hasn't really shown much more than polite interest, though he has asked questions (and puts up with the doll babble I indulge in from time to time on the morning commute). Neither of them has brought up the cost of the dolls.

However...when I was about ten years old I wanted an American Girl doll. I knew which one I wanted, which accessories I wanted to get along with her, and how much money it would end up costing to get her. At ten years of age I couldn't get a job to earn money (not even most babysitting jobs), so all I had available to me was the allowance my parents gave me and whatever money I might receive at birthdays and Christmas.

I was able to work out a deal with my parents. If I could save up my money (allowance, etc) until I had enough to cover half the cost of the doll they would cover the other half of the cost. (At least one of their goals in this was to teach me fiscal responsibility, and it worked.)

It's been my experience that parents want to see their children being responsible and level-headed about things. When you talk to your dad about it, I say to be up front and honest about the cost. Acknowledge that you know it is a lot of money, but make it clear that it is something you've been thinking about for a while now, and that you know you'll have to save and set aside money before you can make the purchase.

Hopefully your father will take the "it's your money" approach to things, or at least be impressed enough with your honesty and explanations that he will share any concerns he may have in an equally forthright fashion.

Do you happen to know if your late great-granddad put any sort of use stipulations on the bonds account he gave you? Since he has passed on there probably isn't much which can be done to influence how you use the monies in the account, but it's possible he intended it so you'd have savings for university attendance or setting out on your own. Your parents probably know if any such intentions exist, so your dad may bring up something like that.

Another thing you may want to do before talking with your dad is to work up a budget for the funds you already have and/or are likely to earn while working your holiday job. Having a reasonable budget available for discussion is another way to show him that you are being very responsible about things and planning for known expenses (school fees, class trips, clothes, whatever sorts of things you normally have to cover with your own money) as you save for your Luke.

 

Make sure you bring up that with your dad too! The fact that you want to use the majority of the account for university definitely shows a level of maturity that he should be proud you have.

 

First of all... do NOT take money out of savings bonds for a doll!! You're going to want that money to help pay for college or a car or a house or something! The longer the money stays in those bond accounts, the more interest you make off them... also taking the money out early will incur fees.

Just save up your money carefully. Ask your parents if you can do extra chores around the house at your mom and your dad's place etc.

 

In this way I'm really unlucky 'cos I'm 15 and at the moment I don't have any brigade so my only entry is from my parents and my parents don't like BJD from the instant I showed them. So I have to save and it's really really slow and I'm still fighting with mom who thinks I'm too old for playing with dolls and even though I was trying to persuade them and talking about how gorgeous dolls are...no effect. *sigh* But I won't give up!!! Even if it will take hundred years, one day I will get Mikko!!!

 

Even though I'm not a teenager, since I live next door to my folks and my mother and I share a business, my spending decisions are... not always so much my own as they should be for a woman in her mid-30s, regardless of whether it's my money or not, and so on. I'll just leave that be where it is. I just have weirdly invasive family members.

Initially, it wasn't a tough sell at all. I'd spent well over a year buying nothing, letting money sit after getting a computer, and just... working myself half to death. Burnout was coming fast, and they were initially hounding me to get a hobby. That's... when they thought it would be one or two pretty girls to putter around with. They're not quite as keen on things now that there's a veritable army of dolls storming the house on a semi-regular basis, but aside from 'can you sell them on again if you have a need to someday' and the random grumbling from my father, it's not too bad.

One of the best things I think you can do as someone who still actively needs their permission to access the required funds would be to approach the whole thing as calmly and rationally as you can. Yeah, you may hear, "That's silly!" -- but try to stay calm about it. (Even as an adult you'll catch these attitudes from people, so while the permission issue isn't as pronounced as you get older, sadly, the need to remain calm in the face of people who just don't get it remains.) It's really easy to look silly when comments -- no matter how obnoxious or clueless -- get you upset. The best -general- way is to explain a bit about what it is, all the work that goes in to making these dolls (thus why they are worth the asking price), and why it's important to you to have one.

Beyond that, look for common ground. Is there something about the dolls you think would interest your father? It's not as silly a question as it may sound -- I thought it was hopeless in my case, and that while he couldn't stop me from getting them, I'd constantly have to put up with the attitude. Instead, he saw that some of the dolls I was getting were inspired by mythology, and he's a huge mythology buff, so he started to warm to them very quickly after that and now always wants to see them when they arrive. Does he have any artistic interests that might somehow help him relate, or perhaps a hobby of his own that some people think is silly, but is important to him?

Even the simple fact that the doll could represent a nice, wholesome hobby that is small and dorm-friendly size-wise can help. College is one of those times that just -scares- parents, and some of that is entirely fair. If they know you'd have something to keep your attention that isn't one of their 'fear activities' (crazy parties and whatnot) it can't exactly hurt.

 

Hmmmm.... Well, my parents have never liked plastic things (wooden and cloth toys for me), and although I now have plenty of plastic in my room, they still resist. At first it was hard to convince them. They said no. But I did some research about the resin, and pointed out the many good things that will come of this doll:

-I love fashion/jewelry, and have been wanting something smaller to make clothes for
-I love photography. BJD's are awesome to photograph (I imagine)
-They are fully customizable, perfect for the characters in my novel
-If you take good care of them, they can fetch a good price secondhand (made my parents happy in case for some reason, this didn't work out/ I didn't like BJDs.)

After hearing this, plus the fact that I would use my allowance and forgo any music/books/anything else I wanted, my parents finally agreed.

I'm also home sick with lyme disease. There is very little I can do, so anything that makes me happy, keeps me busy, and takes my mind off all the antibiotics and feeling bad is hard for them to say no to.

I hope your dad agrees. It can really sucks having to get your parents permission for things like this.

-Draba

 

I get social security because my dad died in January and I'm under eighteen. So, I used that money to get myself a nose job over the summer. I figured if I can get a nose job, I can get myself a BJD, so I ordered one two weeks ago. :]

She said it's my money and as long as she doesn't know how much I spent it's not as bad. :]

 

I am also a college student and I don't live with my parents. However, when I wanted my first doll, a Soulkid, Christmas was around the corner, and since the doll was really the only thing I wanted, I prepared myself. They would have never paid for the whole thing, and they almost never give out money either as a gift.

Anyway, I convinced them by showing what I'd do with them, the artistic things and whatnot. It also really helped that I already had a third of the cost of the doll put away for it. For Christmas, they gave me $100 to go towards my doll. I was really surprised because this was by far, the most expensive gift I'd ever received from them.

Really, come to think of it, for anyone who thinks that their parents might not be okay with you having a doll, start saving up long before even asking them. I think a lot of parents would be impressed with their kid for saving up a good chunk of the doll before asking for it.

 

When I was fourteen and wanted my first bjd I told them about how customizable they were and how I could use them to learn how to sew. I also excel in art so I told my parents that their poses and faces would help me on perspective. I have since had other dolls but now they don't need reasons. Hey trust that I have good reason for all that I do.

 

Did you try the "if you get this I won't need a birthday party or any other presents at all" saying?
It works, but only near your b-day. cx